Avin a larf

[the trainbasher]

If there is a God?

Jeremy Kyle will be doing his next show in Syria....      

[the trainbasher]

US Intelligence agencies are "100% certain" that Bashar al-Assad's regime was responsible for the chemical weapons attack on his own people, and believe that military action is the only way to restore peace.

Surely that's a huge contradiction...

US Intelligence?   

[the trainbasher]

The situation:
You are at the bank of the River Thames and it's flooding. Let's say you are a photographer out getting still photos for a news service, travelling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. If you were to stumble across David Cameron struggling to keep from being swept away in the raging river and you had a choice of rescuing him or getting a prize-winning photograph of the death of a Prime Minister. What shutter speed would you use?   

[windy miller]

I've told my Mrs she must start losing some weight off her fat A***.. The office copier/printer she sat on at the works christmas party?... its still printing!.... >:( >:( >:(

[Liverpool Street]

I've told my Mrs she must start losing some weight off her fat A***.. The office copier/printer she sat on at the works christmas party?... its still printing!.... >:( >:( >:(

Haha, that one tickled me!

[windy miller]

M/t

[nitromatt1]

I must get my garden sorted...its like a jungle up there!... I set off two large bangers tonight and a japanese soldier came out and surrendered.  >:( :)

That joke is full of innuendos

[NXWM Spectra]

I must get my garden sorted...its like a jungle up there!... I set off two large bangers tonight and a japanese soldier came out and surrendered.  >:( :)

That joke is full of innuendos

You and your dirty mind ;D ;)

I started having those thoughts after the first sentence and the reference to 'your garden'. Yeah, my mind is horrible.

[the trainbasher]

I was standing at the train station this morning, and my train turned up on time. Literally to the very second it said on the timetable.

An announcement came over the loudspeaker:

"Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible."

[windy miller]

Working with a number of foreign drivers a few years ago  there was one driver whose name we could never pronounce....we just called him 'jigsaw'.... whenever he was faced with a problem he just went to pieces.......... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[John]

(Off Central Buses Facebook page) This made me laugh, understand the frustration, but still!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBBK2hjcPuA&feature=youtu.be&t=1s

[windy miller]

When my father worked for the highways Dept it never occured to me that he might be stealing from his employers...But when I came home the signs were there.... :o :o

[windy miller]

There were a few raised eyebrows when Prince charles arrived at a national opera production at Glyndebourne last year wearing a Fox fur Hat.  Asked about his choice he replied: "When MM''a  asked me where I was going I said 'Glyndebourne'. She said "wear the Fox hat".....or at least I think thats what she said.... :o ;D ;D ;D

[Liverpool Street]

Hit By A Bus™     By Andy Christopfel ©

Late
God I'm late
For today...today I have a date
With my professor that is
Gotta go
Gotta run
Gotta hurry, no time for fun
shoot me
kill me
stab me with a knife
School is much more important than this
precious little life
Whizzing past the students
Running blindly pass the campus sights
I take a step into the street and meet
my creator's device
Call me an idiot
Call me a damn fool
I did not do it in the name of love,
Rather, in the name of school
Pick up the telephone and call that paramedic...
While you're at it, call my mommy too
But now it's too late,
And there's nothing that you can do
I can't even speak, scream, yell or cuss
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I've been HIT BY A BUS


No. I didn't find it funny either.


Son : Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he
told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mum : Well, you have done the right thing.

Son : But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

[windy miller]

M/t