Avin a larf

[windy miller]

Looking at some of the posts lately I think the forum needs to lighten up a bit! does anyone have any amusing BUS/transport related memories/anecdotes they can share on the forum?
comments could be a bit risque but not vulgar and National but not racialy offensive.
I would be happy to contribute my experiences ,perhaps saturday nights (after 10pm)
regards. windy :)

[windy miller]

Two NX drivers were captured by a group of cannibals.the chief questioned the first driver where he was from.the driver replied "Dundee". The chief put him down for Scotch broth.
when he asked the other driver where he was from he replied "perry Barr" -Perry barr?? said the chief, "would you know if our kid is still working the 28??

[windy miller]

 :) :)A few years ago I took an old optare down to Newport on an evening charter. during the lay-over I managed to flatten the battery (As you do)-so I collared the nearest welsh driver
and asked him if he had any Jump Leads. He said "sure" then handed me a list of RED LIGHT
phone numbers in Cardiff...

[windy miller]

On our touring holiday in Delhi we attempted to board a local bus which was already full. although there were another 3 people on the roof and another 6 on the back end we thought there must be room for another 2. The driver,(in his best English) said " you can't get on-I'm
RAM Jammfhul". to which my mrs Replied (in her best Indian) "We don't realy need to know your Name- we just want to get on the bus.

[windy miller]

 :) :)The police stopped one of our east European drivers today.They didn't find any drugs,his papers were ok, He hadn't been drinking and he hadn't been speeding.He had a valid MOT,his insurance was fine,and he had a clean licence.The cops fined him 60 Quid for wasting police time. :)

[PM]

Which company does he and you work for? Diamond?

[windy miller]

 :)My mate pulled off the M4 to investigate a  noise of some sort- shortly afterwards a realy nice young lady in a very short skirt got off the coach and said"Do you need a ScrewDriver?? my mate said "thanks!-but not just now,-wer'e ten minutes late already!" :)

[windy miller]

 My co driver and I were making our way to falkirk when we stopped near preston to eat our sandwiches.He said his sandwich was a bit dry and did I have any paste? I said yes. shortly afterwards he said "what sort of paste is this" ? I said "crab paste" he said "where did you buy it"? I said "in the chemist". :)lol?

[ilovetea4370]

Haha! Nice to see some bus humour on here  :P

[richie]

Which company does he and you work for? Diamond?

Funny lol

[windy miller]

It seems only a few weeks ago that my late father commented on the relative quietness of the new volvo engined buses-as he was saying -they are so quiet you cant hear them coming. I will always remember my dads last words before he died...***t.abus!.AArrrghhhh.. :)

[Ashley]

I'm in stitches reading these, thanks for making my day :D

[windy miller]

anytime ashley :)

[windy miller]

Cinderella's levante arrives at the ball on time.She is told that she must leave at 12 o clock or her 'Muff' will turn into a pumpkin!! :) During the evening she meets a Handsome prince -"hello she said-Who are you? The handsome prince replied-"I'm Norman-They call me the pumpkin eater-"by the way- what time do you have to leave??- "HALF SIX" said cinders. ;) :)

[Badger]

We had a... well, a bit of a poor driver the one time. An old woman at the front of the bus said the best line I've ever heard: "We're not in Kansas any more Dorothy, round here we drive on the left!"