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Avin a larf

Started by windy miller, April 27, 2012, 11:59:56 AM

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the trainbasher

I took my wife to work for the first time last week.
"Why have you stopped here?" she asked, as I pulled up by the side of the road.
"It's the nearest I can get." I replied.
"How? The road is clear and you can park right outside."
"Sarah I have designated stops so please just get out the  bus." I said.


All opinions and onions mentioned on here are mine and not those of any employer, current, past, present or future, or presented as fact, unless I prove it otherwise.

the trainbasher

North Korea Vs South Korea... It's kinda like a serious takeshi's castle!


All opinions and onions mentioned on here are mine and not those of any employer, current, past, present or future, or presented as fact, unless I prove it otherwise.

the trainbasher

America have told the North Korean's they're prepared for any attack. The British have told America they will stand by them & the French have surrendered.


All opinions and onions mentioned on here are mine and not those of any employer, current, past, present or future, or presented as fact, unless I prove it otherwise.

the trainbasher

Don't worry about the rising tensions in North Korea, we've sent the B52s over.  They'll soon surrender once they've had to listen to Love Shack a few times.


All opinions and onions mentioned on here are mine and not those of any employer, current, past, present or future, or presented as fact, unless I prove it otherwise.

the trainbasher

It's supposed to be a kept quiet, but I'll tell you a secret website I found which predicts the Eurovision results for each country...  ...Google Maps


All opinions and onions mentioned on here are mine and not those of any employer, current, past, present or future, or presented as fact, unless I prove it otherwise.

nx4737

Thatcher's been in Hell for 20 minutes and already shut 3 furnaces

Trident 4609

Why are they even Considering a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher? Surley it should be Privatised :)

Trident 4609

Welcome to the Islamic Awards for acting, or as i call them the MOSQUERS

nitromatt1

Nathan. What happened to 'no more bad jokes'? ;)

nitromatt1

Quote from: Trident 4609 on April 11, 2013, 11:00:26 PM
Quote from: nitromatt1 on April 11, 2013, 10:58:20 PM
Nathan. What happened to 'no more bad jokes'? ;)

Wouldn't consider it a bad Joke, Just in bad taste ;D

Don't repeat that one on the 59 :)

windy miller

#145
When I was a teenager I often suffered from painfull piles. :'(...As I was too embarrassed to see a GP, I asked my grandmother for advice. She said that putting two teaspoons of used Tealeaves in my butt hole every night might help. After 10 days with a butt full of tealeaves and no improvement She suggested a visit to her local Romany friend who may be able to help me..On my arrival I was asked to remove my trousers and bend over a chair...she examined me very closely and said.."I can't do anything about your piles..but I can see you're going on a long journey... ;D :) :) 
Mind the Gap.....?:-)

windy miller

My eldest daughter phoned me last night to tell me my (Ex) Wife had been in a serious accident, and gave me the hospital contact details. Naturally very concerned, I rang the hospital this afternoon and asked a Doctor for news of her condition. He said.."I'm afraid she has a split from her Anus to her Navel.".I said..I know that...but is she hurt? ;) ;D ;D
Mind the Gap.....?:-)

windy miller

When I heard My neighbour had sadly lost both of his previous wives, I asked him how his first wife died. He said.. "She died from eating poisoned Mushrooms"...I then asked him how his second wife had died he said.. 'She died from a fractured skull... I said 'a fractured skull??..how did that happen???.. he said " She wouldn't eat the f...in Mushrooms! :o :o :o ;D
Mind the Gap.....?:-)

windy miller

#148
Our annual parachute regiment reunion in hereford was well attended again this year.
As a group of us shared our early experiences, a slightly 'efeminate' guy,(a rear gunner?) :o or an 'uphill gardener' as I call them, began to relate his first plane 'exit'. Apparently, as he was very reluctant to jump the despatcher unbuttoned his trousers to reveal a large penis. He said.."If you don't jump I will push this so far up your A*se your throat hurts!
Naturally My Question was.. "Did you jump??? he said.. 'Only a little bit'!  ;D ;D :)
Mind the Gap.....?:-)

windy miller

Some months ago, the bloke a few doors away suddenly 'snapped' and murdered his wife with a Hammer.The express reporter was here in no time.When he asked if this came as a surprise I said.."its more than a surprise...its sick! The reporter said..'Why is that?...I told him I had known the bloke for over 40 years,..and everytime I asked to borrow a Hammer..he said he hadn't got one!!... >:( >:( :) :)
Mind the Gap.....?:-)

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