Avin a larf

[windy miller]

   No doubt the potential Tyre damage from track debris would have
anticipated the safety vehicle...But I need to assure myself this is    
  (or was )a joke page.?....so the difference between a
    risky F1 circuit and a risque Nymphomaniac??? Simple'? 
     One Knackers your tyres.... the  other  T...  your  Kn.....s :)

[windy miller]

I have to agree with my Mrs, we need to compromise due to inflation
  but having to use  both sides of the bog roll is a bit much >:(

[Wumpty]

On a recent trip to deepest Cornwall, Boris Johnson was stopped by an old lady who'd got a couple of issues........

Boris asked what they were. The first, she said, was our brand new medical centre has no doctor. Boris whips out his mobile and is heard demanding a doctor to be employed. Boris tells her that the new doctor will be here the following day.

He asked what the second issue was, where she said that there was absolutely no mobile phone signal and could they have some masts erected so they could use their mobile phones!!!!!

[windy miller]

 Back in the early 60's a priest attended an Irish school RE class in Dublin. 
He asked the young Ryan Murphy . 'who pulled down the walls of jericho??
  ."  it wasn't me Father!..He replied.. The priest later told his teacher that
when  the young Murphy lad was asked the question he replied 'Not me!..
  the Teacher replied..'  I v'e known the murphy family for 40 years.. "If he
  said it wasn't him... He didn't do it!..  :o

[windy miller]

   A grand OLD title?... So Prince andrew has been stripped of his royal
   patronages but Still keeps his title 'the Duke of York'?
' well... he should be safe from his female accuser(s)
     as the last I heard he had 10,000 men :)..     I expect they
   got sick of marching up and down.... >:(

[windy miller]

 My mate has a list of all the things he wants to do before he dies...which he refers to as his 'Bucket' list...
  ....I had to explain to him that I also have a similar list....
...  All the things I have never done,never likely to,and never will in a million years!..
  I call it my 'Fuckit' list. :)

[windy miller]

  Me and the Missus are always ready to try something new between
  the sheets.... When we heard about the '71' position  we were keen to
  give it a try.  Unfortunately this '71' position was just a normal '69'..
  ..with two fingers up your arse >:(   What a bummer... >:( >:(

[windy miller]

   Years ago on a visit to a farmer in essex... I accidentaly ran over
   their cockrell and killed it.... Obviously I sought to apologise to the
   farmers wife... " i'm sorry I have run over your cockrell and I would
   like to replace it"..." please yourself! she replied... "
  The hens are round the back... :o


Barry Cryer r.i.p

[windy miller]

  After I had gone 4 ends down at my local crown green match I got
   heckled mercifully from a by stander.... " When can we see your comeback
   Windy??? Ha..ha.   I told him if he wants to see MY comback he needs to
   ask his mother to spit it out next time I'm round his place.... >:(
     ......... don't heckle me mate :)

[bubble2899]

As a bus driver, if I have a bad day at work I look in the saloon  mirror and quietly mumble "you are all arse holes," then tap my brakes twice do they all nod

[windy miller]

    When Two Ukranian checkpoint guards were controlling the recent
    curfew anyone on the street after midnight were likely to be shot.
   When a guy passed the checkpoint on his bike at 11.55pm one of the
   guards shot him.   Its only 11.55pm??  said his mate...Why have you
    shot him ? ." easy" said his mate...I know where the guy lives...
   ..He wouldn't have made it back before 12... >:(

[windy miller]

Way back in the 50's it was not uncommon to find music hall entertainment in the form of a monologue(s)  often accompanied by a series of hand gestures. One most notable example was the title' Theres a little yellow idol to the north of katmandu...(the tale of 'mad' carew)
 
Unfortunately the narrative would often be 'parodied' for amusement
and had many alternatives where you would simply insert your own verse.
as Indeed I have done.....
 
  There's a stinking gents urinal,(platform 7 @ waterloo)
 and another one for ladies close by too...
 Where a soldier..(Broken hearted) paid 10p and only farted
 aren't you glad that realy wasn't you...?

Iv'e had a piss in Turkey,and a crap in bangalore
Iv'e sat on cold ceramics with one foot on the door...
but confronted by the sight of other peoples shite
and their mis-directed piss all on the floor
when your shit hole doesn't flush and (unless your'e in a rush)                                           you wouldn't want to 'go' there  thats for sure!!

[windy miller]

 I think it was a young David Hockney who once said (on his first
 visit to the cinema).. "the guy sat next to me leaned ascross and put
 his hand on my cock!..... Iv'e been in love with the cinema ever since....

[windy miller]

My Mrs said she has no interest in politics...but the idea of a video of 
 Nadine Dor..and Liz Tr.." Jilling off" with a 10" Double ender on the back benches would appeal to her.   ?  All that wobbly tit and Quivering cellulite?
 .sound good to me too!... Where can I buy a copy?   
 

[windy miller]

 When My mate told me he was expecting a post to South Africa in the next   few months I told that South Africa unfortunately has one BIG Drawback....
 What's that ? he asked...An Elephants Foreskin!  I said.... Ha