Avin a larf

[windy miller]

  I'm getting rather good at this hidden 'spy' camera voyeurism lark...
  My neighbour has just made another sex tape..(she doesn't know it yet ;) :) )
  I'm looking forward to her next shag in the bathroom!... :) :)

[windy miller]

  My Mrs has been complaining to the council to do something about
  the stinky pond at the bottom of our garden... after several requests the
  council have decided to solve the problem.. they are sending 3 ducks >:( >:(

[windy miller]

  I hear there has been a massive explosion in battersea this afternoon...
  .....its raining dogs and cats apparently... :o

[windy miller]

  I look forward to the tennis at Wimbledon every year.. I remember
  the commentary on the ladies final where sue barker said (..quote)
  ' thats a  beautiful slice!.... Serena realy must wear knickers next year! :o 

[windy miller]

  Thanks to the gov update on the covid contact scenario today
   I was finally able to visit our elderly neighbour at her care home.
. "how was she? My Mrs asked.... " Like a fish out of water"! I said
   " Hows that? she asked...       .I said ... Dead :o

[windy miller]

  It looks like holly willoughby has suffered from dyslexia for years....
   apparently she had always wanted alphabeti spaghetti but her mother
  always gave her ordinary spaghetti as she couldn't tell the difference,... :)

[windy miller]

  After our terrier died recently I bought a new dog which my Mrs was pleased about. Unfortunately he has been chasing people on a bike...... We have
had a discussion about it and decided that we will have to take it off him... :)

[windy miller]

   A short conversation between two gay cowboys?
              "YUP?............  YEP!    :o

[windy miller]

 My Mrs has asked me to get her a longer dipstick for her car...she
   said the one she has got doesn't reach the oil ...cant think why :-\

[Wumpty]

Young lad walks up to an ice cream van holding a toy gun and says to the lady, "Gimme an ice cream you old cow!".

Lady asks, "Do you want crushed nuts?", and the young lad says, "Do you want me to blow your tits off luv?!?!"

[windy miller]

   Many years ago my then 8 year old grandson asked me the age old question..
    " Granddad.. " where do we get babies from???   'The Stork Brings them!
   I replied confidently..... mmm he said..'So...Who fuks the Stork??? :o

[windy miller]

   
I'd swear my Mrs was born with Britain s biggest minge :o I had never had
reason to question her fidelity, but On a recent 'swift' withdrawal finding a
grubby little condom stuck on the end of my tool came as a surprise!   
   as I swear I had not put one on when I went in!  mmm :-\....
  On her last visit to the clinic for a D&C I took the opportunity to ask her
  Gynaecologist if she spotted anything Unusual?... 'Well' she replied..
   apart from Lord Lucan riding Shergar there was nothing I hadn't
  seen before....  ??? ???

[windy miller]

    I can't believe how fashion conscious some older women can be
     My sister in law has now refused her colostomy op as she can't
     get shoes to match the bag!.... ??? ???

[windy miller]

   I heard the lexicographer Susie Dent likes to retire with a dictionary
   and enjoys a good flick before bedtime.... a bit like your MUM
    when reading 50 shades of grey.... :o    Personally I cant see the
    attraction of a Dulux paint chart??.......... :)

[windy miller]

   Apparently the word 'bollocks' has been used for many centuries...
  I heard the hebrew equivalent had been noted in the Bilble on several
   occasions.... more likely joseph in his reply to his Mrs when she told him
she was pregnant by a ghost.... :o :o