Avin a larf

[Stuharris 6360]

The day in London begins at 04:30 and continues to 04:29 the following day, or that is at least how Oyster cards work, so presume Travelcards would work the same!!

[Stuharris 6360]

Police in South Africa have found evidence to prove that Oscar Pistorius didn't shoot Reeva Steenkamp....................
...

FOOTPRINTS!

[Liverpool Street]

A  well known UK snack is now available in North Korea as a vegetarian option..... its called Not Poodle.... :o :) :)

Ha Ha ;D that made me chuckle ;)

I agree with Nathan

And the point of that post was....?

My Mrs said that if she catches me downloading anymore porn sites she will bang my head against the keyboarkukyfcotyyyy999999(R^((^&TYIOR^(^$(365893%I(DETDYI($^thidyd

"AAARRRRGGGHHHH DUH DEH DAH *****"

I don't get it.


~

Please don't post this crap. Worthwhile jokes and reactions only, please. You're a post away from me banning you. Your move.

Checkmate.

[windy miller]

I have to agree I'm afraid.. I have been actively promoting this web site and (esp) the joke pages... :)  Tony has given us the option(s) to edit or remove our own posts? If a post is no longer appropriate, topical, irrelevant, or simply a comment in the wrong thread, may I suggest we remove the post(s) ourselves? :-\ :-\   

[windy miller]

M/t

[arrifirststage]

What has happened to the joke section of the site..............everything now consists of obscenities or illiterate rubbish,are there no jokes without this contend anymore?

[windy miller]

What has happened to the joke section of the site..............everything now consists of obscenities or illiterate rubbish,are there no jokes without this contend anymore?

Arrif. The subject of literacy is often contentious... Tony had provided a 'spell check' option on the marquee some time ago for the benefit of people with difficulties, or maybe whose first language is not English?... I can only assume it was removed because the option was being ignored?... As for obscenities I'm afraid all too many of us are guilty :-[......when I was at medical school we were asked to arrange the anagram NPSEI to show a vital part of the anatomy at its best when erect?... those of us who put SPINE went on to UNI... the rest of us are still posting jokes on websites...... 8) :) :) :)

[Alex]

Here are some call centre conversations:

Caller: I've been ringing 0800 2100 for 2 days now, and i can't get through to Enquiries. Can you help?
Operator: Umm, where did you get the number from
Caller: It's on the door to the Travel Centre. Why?
Operator: Those are our opening hours


A caller rings up to find a Knitwear factory in Woven...

Operator: Woven, where's that? Sir are you sure?
Caller: That's what it says in my jumper; Woven in Scotland

Not a call centre conversation, but still..

My girlfriend and i were out in the park when a guy came up and flashed her. My girlfriend, overreacting, called out ''RAPE!!!!''. I called out after, ''Don't give him any ideas!!!''

Yeah i know they're terrible but still, could be worse

[windy miller]

.......Just thought I'd let you know.. I'm in casualty!...turns out this Dyson Ball cleaner wasn't what I thought it was :o :o :o :o

[windy miller]

Good Samaritan?. ;)   As I walked across the cliff tops near Brighton I met an attractive young woman determined to commit suicide and there was nothing I could say to stop her. Faced with a 100ft fall to her death I needed to think fast. I dropped my shorts and suggested she might like an alternative 'Jump' instead. "Certainly not!. she replied, You dirty B****rd!..  Fair enough! I said, as I waved my Todger...I'll Just wait at the bottom then.... I'm not fussed 8)


she didn't jump :)

[Wumpty]

Some of these 'Alternative' XXX  film titles are available to buy at your local cinema:
1) Schindlers fist
2) Sperms of Endearment
3) Shaving Ryans privates
4) The Davinci Load
5) Star Whores
6) Brideshead re-Fisted :o :o :o :) :)

I've heard Throbbin Hood is worth a look!

[Trident 4609]

A few of my own maybe?....Jizzing miss daisy?  or maybe The porn ultimatum or possibly "one screw over the cookers best... :o :o :o :o ;)

Or Oliver Fist?


"Please Sir, Can i have a little bit less" ;)

[domino.99]

What about Willy Wanker and the tissue factory

[the trainbasher]

Fanny Girl
The breast offer
The Mortal Instruments: City of Boners
One erection: This Is Us
My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow **cks

[windy miller]

 T/b.. Are these all 'Box office' titles? or DVD's? .. The problem with so many DVD titles is that unless you have, (or had) shares in Blockbusters ™ :) it can be difficult to appreciate the original titles.   ,eg  Raiders of the lost Ar*e, Breast side story or Boldfinger ect would be instantly recognisable.   ps. thanks to everyone who has contributed to these pages, (Good or bad) :)  with the hit counter now in excess of 30k lets hope it gets better ??? :)