Avin a larf

[windy miller]

 On our holiday in Torquay the deckchair attendant asked my Mrs to move off the beach as the tide was waiting to come in... >:(

[GeminiFan1991]

"I'm not racist", I said to my mate, "but I prefer my sandwiches cut diagonally"
"....but that's not racist", he said
"Exactly" I replied, "I said I wasn't racist".

:D

[Liverpool Street]

"I'm not racist", I said to my mate, "but I prefer my sandwiches cut diagonally"
"....but that's not racist", he said
"Exactly" I replied, "I said I wasn't racist".

:D

Hahaha I like it

[GeminiFan1991]

My wife said she wanted to go McDonald's. I said I'd take her if she could spell it.
We ended up at KFC. 

[karl724223]

My mate got the vacuum stuck up his Arse earlier when I rang a&e to see how he was they replied he's picking up nicely

[windy miller]

M/t

[karl724223]

Came home the other night the wife and her two friends greeted me at the door
With a big smile on her face she said do you fancy a foursome
5 min later I came running downstairs nothin on with my dick in my hand
Only to be greeted by them with tennis rackets in theres

[Dom]

Came home the other night the wife and her two friends greeted me at the door
With a big smile on her face she said do you fancy a foursome
5 min later I came running downstairs nothin on with my dick in my hand
Only to be greeted by them with tennis rackets in theres

Brilliant!

[GeminiFan1991]

Came home the other night the wife and her two friends greeted me at the door
With a big smile on her face she said do you fancy a foursome
5 min later I came running downstairs nothin on with my dick in my hand
Only to be greeted by them with tennis rackets in theres

Haha ! Nice one !

[Squiz1971]

Came home the other night the wife and her two friends greeted me at the door
With a big smile on her face she said do you fancy a foursome
5 min later I came running downstairs nothin on with my dick in my hand
Only to be greeted by them with tennis rackets in theres

It's a cracker!!! rofpmsl.  Yuk what a mess I made  ???

[GeminiFan1991]

My girlfriend asked me if I had ever pissed in the shower.
I said, "Yeah, a couple of times, accidentally."
She said, "That's disgusting! What do you mean accidentally?!"
"Hey," I said, "these things happen when you're having a shit."

[GeminiFan1991]

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"Can you have a look at," he says, "I think he's cross-eyed"
So the vet picks up the dog and examines him.
"I'm going to have to put him down" says the vet.
"Why, just because he's cross-eyed?"
"No" says the vet, "Because he's heavy" !  ;D

[the trainbasher]

How do you fit 10,000 Ghastly on a step dart?

You Pokémon...

[karl724223]

Just bin watching the sailing in the olympics
England took the gold
USA took the silver
And the Somalians took the boat

[V89MOA]

Just bin watching the sailing in the olympics
England took the gold
USA took the silver
And the Somalians took the boat

This has made my week  :D