Avin a larf

[Liverpool Street]

Valid Double Post

- The wife asked me what the weather was like outside...
"Its very Windy [Miller]" I said with a grimace!

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

[windy miller]

LS.... You really should buy more expensive crackers next year! ::) ::) 

[Liverpool Street]

LS.... You really should buy more expensive crackers next year! ::) ::) 

I don't even think those £5 for 10 crackers are as bad as that joke! Haha

[the trainbasher]

Two Pensnett Mercs drive off a cliff. They met a smokey end!

I'm sure that wasn't in bad taste now was it Thomas? Haha

Nah, it was just a burning desire :-)

[Liverpool Street]

The missus said to me one day.. in hatred..

'I have PMS & GPS!'

I pause for a second.. thinking about it

'It means I'm a bitch and I will find you!!'

--

The wife and I were sitting on the patio. I looked over to her to see she was sipping on a glass of wine. She turns and says "I love you so much. I don't know how I could live without you."
        I respond "is that you, or the wine talking?"
  She replies.....
"Its me... talking to the wine!!"


..
Those are the only ones I remember.

[Mike K]

I went to bed with 2 Thai girls last night. It was like winning the lottery - we had 6 matching balls!

[Mike K]

My new girlfriend just burst in the bedroom.

So I'm taking her back to Ann Summers tomorrow and getting my money back.

[Liverpool Street]

I went to bed with 2 Thai girls last night. It was like winning the lottery - we had 6 matching balls!

Hahaha!! Fantastic!!

My new girlfriend just burst in the bedroom.

So I'm taking her back to Ann Summers tomorrow and getting my money back.

Brilliant!

You must've had some XXX Christmas crackers mate!

[Mike K]

When I dropped my new girlfriend off the other night after our first date she said I'd have to wait 6 months before she'd give me a BJ. I told her I understand and fully respect her decision and that I will ring her nearer the time.

[Liverpool Street]

During the early 1980's, in a scientific study that cost the US government $75 million, it was concluded that the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. Also, the wipers on the bus go swish swish, swish swish, swish swish, and most surprisingly, swish swish. The next part of the study began with the hypothesis that the baby on the bus goes "Wah, wah, wah". However, it was later found that the baby had actually been drop-kicked off the bus, and thus the baby on the road goes "splat splat splat".

[Liverpool Street]

LS..My neighbour lost her job as teacher of the school music group.... Apparently the Words:  The Mu****s on the bus go Bang Bang Bang" were considered to be unacceptable lyrics! ::)
please note: No offence intended.. I just found it on another site! :)

Love it!

[Mike K]

A recent research study claims that one in ten of us live next door to a paedophile. Not me, I live next door to a gorgeous 14 year old with great t*ts.

[Ashley]

A man goes to the psychiatrist wear nothing but glass underpants.
The doc says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

[Liverpool Street]

Thanks Ashley.  A man walks into a grocery shop and asks " do you have dates?.. the shopkeeper said 'No'...The man asks " Do you have Nuts?.. The shopkeeper said.."If i had Nuts I'd have dates ;) :o

What do a Christmas tree and a man who's had a vasectomy have in common?
They both have ornamental balls.

Sort of on topic he he he

Or shall we 'cut this thread short...' hahaha

This one got me howling...

My reverse vasectomy was the most painful experience of my life.

The doctor started off by sealing the flow of sperm from the testicles, and finished by administering the anaesthetic.   

[Ashley]

Chucked an ice cube down the front of my wife's dress and said "there's that chest freezer you've been asking for" :D