Avin a larf

[windy miller]

A late night US talk show last year featured the decriminalization of US Polygamy Law.
As a group of Mormons had long advocated the subject and have no issue with its legality 
at least within consenting adults of a close group where a partner may consider more than one wife / mistress (or both)!...as a young 16 yr old girl complimented her 'beau' 
recently..  'Your'e a better screw than your father! .to which the guy replied..'Strange you 
say that..  'Your mother said the same thing only yesterday!.............

[windy miller]

So .Iv'e had a busy day in Birmingham city centre and I am making my way home on the cross city line to Lichfield . I was trying to get some shut eye while I sat in my window seat
 NO chance..!. The moment I closed my eyes some overweight female in her late 20's sat down on the seat beside me and immediately began a conversation on her mobile  (much 
 to my annoyance). As her conversation began.." Its SUE... I'm on a later train.... the early
 one was cancelled.... NO I'm not at the office...No i.m not having it off with the boss...
 you know I love you... I would never cheat on you darling!...after several minutes of this crap I'd had enough .I leaned over towards her phone..and said....." For Gods sake Sue... Come off the phone and come back to Bed.!!!.  The guy disappeared.... as did she  PDQ!  

[windy miller]

  When an English Irish and Scots guy were captured by a tribe of cannibals in the jungle
  The tribal chief,( who spoke good English) had them prepared for a meal.
  He asked the Irish guy where he was from. He said "Dublin". .the chief put him down for Irish stew...He then asked the Scots guy where he was from... The Scot replied " Glasgow"
 the chief put him down for a scotch broth starter... He then asked the English guy where he was from.. The Guy replied  " Birmingham".... Brum?   replied the chief excitedly... 
 .." Av yo sin anythin of our kid on the buses???.....

  

[windy miller]

  an irish sky diver was killed today over Dublin when his flippers failed to open
  Classic  J carrot

[windy miller]

 Ruben and hymie were walking home from prayers late one evening in Golders Green when they were approached by a group of thugs.... Hymie said " I think we are going to get mugged !! Yes. I think your'e right! said Ruben.... I'm sure of it!.... By the way Hymie...
 Here's that £50 I owe you.....

[windy miller]

 Apparently there will soon be a an app to tell you the porn flick preferences 
 for every country in the world...as my late father once said.. " it makes you wonder what the world's coming to....

[windy miller]

A giant Rabbit walked into a greengrocers ..jumped on a table and asked for a pound of carrots...and banged on the counter.... The shopkeeper said.." I will sell you a pound of carrots..but DON'T bang on the counter!!.... The next day the Rabbit returned with the same M.O... " pound of carrots please!  and Banged on the counter... The shopkeeper said.. " I told you yesterday... I will sell you a pound of carrots But DON'T Bang the counter!!! If you do that again I will Nail you to the wall and eat you for dinner!...  The next day the Rabbit was back again.. " Got any Nails??? asked the Rabbit... the shopkeeper replied "NO"..... The Rabbit said   " pound of carrots please... Bang...

[windy miller]

A young Jewish teenager in New York Had been saying a prayer every Saturday night 
 for several weeks asking for God to grant him a win on the national lottery...  
  with his plea becoming more expressive and desperate each week and with no success 
  on his sixth attempt the heavens opened....and a booming voice rang out.." ruben...
  RUBEN!.... Meet me haff vay.... buy a Vhukin Tikhet!

[windy miller]

Hahahaha
Windy, you kill me

Here's one I forgot::   ex page 33 check it out


    There was a young guy from Gwent
    whose tool was exceedingly bent
    to save himself trouble
    he put it in double
    and instead of 'cumming'   he Went

[windy miller]

 My Mrs had a Bingo 'buddy' and would play every Wednesday last week her 'buddy' (Doris)
 had a big win on a national game sadly on her way home she was hit by a car in a hit and run accident and later died in hospital.. When she made it to heavens gate she spoke to the great man .. I don't understand it she said...I go to church every Sunday and you granted me a big win on the Bingo?...then you have me knocked down in an accident??? The Great man looked at her closely..." Doris???.. Doris Cartwright!!!!  F... Me ..I didn't recognize you .sorry about that! 

[windy miller]

  My Mrs said I only have two faults... (1) I dont listen to her  and (2....) something else

[windy miller]

 An Avid Donald Trump supporter enters a bookstore in New York
 and asks " Do you have a copy of the Trump biography about Refusing all Muslims
 and Mexicans entry to the US ??  I cant think what the title is off hand....
 The Bookseller ,(being a devout Muslim Himself).. Took offence at his request.
    " Fuck off and stay away!  said the retailer..... 
             " Thats the One!..replied the guy.... Have you got it in paperback? 

[Celestial Toymaker]

There was a bandy legged policeman from crewe,
who said i really don't know what to do,
i can stop without fuss,
a lorry or bus,
but bubble cars simply go through......

[windy miller]

 there was a young spinster from crewe 
 who got screwed by a vicar from Kew
 she said ' The verger is slicker
 he's thicker (and quicker)
  and 3" longer than you!
  

[windy miller]

    A young girl got married in Chester
    Her mother she kissed her and blessed her
    She said'   Your'e in luck..!
    He's a rattling good fuck..
    I had him myself once..
    in Leicester!