Avin a larf

[windy miller]

I have lost all interest in flying after the aggro I had at heathrow last year..The guy on
baggage security asked " has anyone you don't know put anything in your luggage?
  I said.. I don't know anyone I don't know.... :-\ " Has anyone you don't know given
   you anything?.... I said yes.. I had a couple of days in Amsterdam last year but... ;).
  .then they tell me I have a 4 hour wait ! . When I asked why a woman on the desk
said" The pilot heard a funny noise coming from the Engine and has refused to fly
   the plane   ... It will take us 4hours to find a pilot who can't hear it... >:( >:(

[windy miller]

  Just spent a week in a caravan... after two days I had an irresistable urge to wear
  an ear ring and start collecting scrap metal..... what time do taroni's open?

[windy miller]

   As a very young scout in the early 60's looking for my first 'bob a job'
    I offered to wash my neighbours roller for him before he set off for his
   usual week end round of golf.  He was obviously pleased with my
    efforts and offered to pay me 2/6d.!  As he sorted through a
    handfull of change I noticed he had a small wooden pin.." Whats that?
    I asked politely... " Oh' he said.."thats what you rest your balls on before
    you drive off"... amazing! I said..Rolls Royce think of everything!  :o
     

[windy miller]

  My neighbour has always been bone idle and a compulsive Alcoholic .
   He often lost his job when caught drinking in the workplace.
   After He vowed to change his ways he hasn't touched a Job for 10 years! >:(

[windy miller]

 I  see the air investigators on the MH370 case have finally found the Wings...
   they are now looking for the Wongs...the Chans..and the Mings.... :(

[windy miller]

 I remember driving through the scottish hills at high speed when I got
  stopped by police. The officer said " What if Mr Fog comes down?.
  I thought that was sarcastic...I said If "Mr Fog" comes down I will take 'Mr
Foot' off the gas and put it on 'Mr Brake'.   The copper said.NO....
                MIST or fog........ :-[   I wish they'd speak english.... >:(

[windy miller]

  ... I followed a car for 12 miles in thick fog on a Motorway..when The guy
       suddenly stopped without warning and I ran into the back of his car..
      I opened my door to ask the guy what he was playing at...?
      He said what the F*** are you doing in my Garage??? :-[ :-[

[windy miller]

 I'm begining to wonder why we keep a dog... He spends so much time
  chasing people on a bike.. My Mrs said its time we took it off him..... >:(

[windy miller]

  My Irish neighbour had been a Unicef supporter for many years and went
  to the aid of the starving people of the african congo. He must have
  proved very popular as they Ate him...... >:(  Still ,I expect they were
  thankfull for small Murphys... :'(   I see Lenny Henrys (Ex) Mrs has been over there recently on an (educational)? trip.. The somali's could see what a woman
   on 6 meals a day looks like..... :) 

[the trainbasher]

Avin a larf?

The ref in the England game!

[windy miller]

 Agreed... The ref was spanish I believe?... Off topic..If You are looking for
    Car insurance you could do worse than getting a quote from GA.
   (General Accident) are a Respectable (on line) UK broker. If you accept a
   quote  and enter the code M42XK9  you will get a £50 M&S voucher after 
  .6 weeks .I only paid £300 for a fully comp policy with 10yr NCB and an
   RAC Breakdown policy worth £38 included in the price...give them a ring..

[Ian Hardy]

We are just about to unveil our new pub name that will be in place while we are in Marshal Law status.

https://twitter.com/danieldaviesrpl/status/1316372320433430528?s=21

This Wirral pub has changed its name to ‘The Three Bellends.’ in protest at the new Tier 3 restrictions placed on the Liverpool city region. The three people pictured on the new pub sign are: Boris, Hancock & Cummings

[windy miller]

 There was a time I would cough to hide my fart....!   now I have to fart
    to hide my cough... >:(

[windy miller]

  I read that the chinese medics have finally found the guy responsible
   for this Covid virus in Yuhan...Mr R Chu....  bless him....... >:(

[windy miller]

  After my Mrs had a bath I fancied some nooky..She said leave it out... I'm
   all clean for my appointment with the Gynecologist in the morning!
     ...I said ..err.. you don't have a dental appointment as well?.... ;)