Avin a larf

[Stu]

Just bin watching the sailing in the olympics
England took the gold
USA took the silver
And the Somalians took the boat

While the Romanians took whatever metal was left!  ;D

[windy miller]

 I've just been watching the men's foil competition at the Olympics...The Russian fencing team took the gold, the French fencing team took the silver, and the Irish fencing team took 6 rolls of wire netting and a bag of nails.... :)

[GeminiFan1991]

Tomorrow, I'm going to open up the time capsule I made when I was a Kid.
I can't wait to see how big my puppy is !

[karl724223]

In the weekly health and safety meeting
When asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire
Apparently fooking big ones wasn't the right answer

[Trident 4194]

In the weekly health and safety meeting
When asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire
Apparently fooking big ones wasn't the right answer

😂😂😂

[karl724223]

Pulled this gypsy bird last night ,she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place for a good time.
She wasn't fooking kidding
I went on the dodgems , waltzers , ghost train and had my palm read
And I even came home with a fooking gold fish 😂

[Dom]

Pulled this gypsy bird last night ,she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place for a good time.
She wasn't fooking kidding
I went on the dodgems , waltzers , ghost train and had my palm read
And I even came home with a fooking gold fish 😂

LMFAO! That's quality @karl724223

[windy miller]

M/t

[GeminiFan1991]

I asked a fortune teller to read my future. Suddenly, she went pale and sprinted from the room. So I grabbed the crystal ball, chased the bitch down and beat her to death.
I wonder what the fuck she saw in that thing.

[JoNi]

While having a thoroughly enjoyable day roaring round on Leyland buses at the Merseyside Transport Trust running day (highly recommended) a Crosville Bristol RE went past as we waited in Aigburth. A seven year old boy sitting opposite me said to his father "That door on the back of the bus is where they get the wheelchair in".

[karl724223]

30 gypsies turn up at the gates to heaven
God tells St. Peter to tell them there's only room for 12 and to sort it out between themselves
After 30 min St. Peter tells God they've gone
God replys what all of them
St. Peter replys  no the gates

[karl724223]

Paddy comes home walks in the kitchen as sees his wife next to the washing machine with two bricks under the one side
Paddy says what the fook you doing
His wife replys I'm doing the washing at 30 degrees you thick twat

[windy miller]

M/t

[GeminiFan1991]

My girlfriend asked me earlier when I last had sex with someone that wasn't her, I said:
"Back in 08."
It sounds much better than 'August'.

[karl724223]

What's the female version of a man cave called?

It's called the kitchen 😂