Avin a larf

[windy miller]

News just in.....An unconfirmed report from a Miss S White tells us that her communal bath was attended by 7 Dwarfs on saturday night. Apparently they were all feeling Happy. At least.. until Happy got out... then they all felt Grumpy... :o :o :)

[Christopher]

That is good windy miller

[Trident 4609]

That is good windy miller

You don't say ::) ;)

[Liverpool Street]

What do you get when you put your hand up a Gypsy's skirt?... Ans: You get your palm read once a month :o :o

I hope that's not in bad taste, is it Windy?

Dirty boy!

[Trident 4609]

When i found out you could be a sperm donor by post,  i came in a jiffy! ;)

[Christopher]

When i found out you could be a sperm donor by post,  i came in a jiffy

what do you mean by that post ?

[Trident 4609]

When i found out you could be a sperm donor by post,  i came in a jiffy

what do you mean by that post ?

Facepalm ::)

[windy miller]

LS..on the subject of 'Bad taste' I recall my attendance many years ago at a dinner held at a 'matchstick' artists club in Manchester.Where, after a very unappetising meal, I became totaly Kalie'd and, to make matters worse, I began my usual rendition of a song made popular in the 60's....."That old park bench we used to have our ***gs on, That rusty nail you used to hang your **gs on, Oh how the smell still clings, These wonderfull things, remind me of you"....At which point I was unceremoniously escorted to the door by a couple of "Muscle Mary's"and I had never been back since. Or at least, until recently,when I called in for a quick drink. When the (young) barman asked if I had been there before I replied: 'Yes...about 30 years ago!..The barman then asks.."was this before the miller "incident" or after?...I saw my drink off and made my own way to the door this time..... :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :D

[Liverpool Street]

LS..on the subject of 'Bad taste' I recall my attendance many years ago at a dinner held at a 'matchstick' artists club in Manchester.Where, after a very unappetising meal, I became totaly Kalie'd and, to make matters worse, I began my usual rendition of a song made popular in the 60's....."That old park bench we used to have our ***gs on, That rusty nail you used to hang your **gs on, Oh how the smell still clings, These wonderfull things, remind me of you"....At which point I was unceremoniously escorted to the door by a couple of "Muscle Mary's"and I had never been back since. Or at least, until recently,when I called in for a quick drink. When the (young) barman asked if I had been there before I replied: 'Yes...about 30 years ago!..The barman then asks.."was this before the miller "incident" or after?...I saw my drink off and made my own way to the door this time..... :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :D

Hahaha!! Love it! As you say Windy, the real ones are the best ;)

[Liverpool Street]

Two young girls were on a night out together, One girl said.." I like your perfume.. What is it called?..she replied "It's called 'Come to me'... her friend had another sniff... "well..she said, " It doesn't smell like come to Me! ;) :)

A clean, but very filthy joke! Great stuff!

Anyway Windy, you said the truth is always the best: I was at an ATM {Barclays "Hole In The Wall"} yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

[windy miller]

Many years ago a blonde woman in her 40's walked into our local butchers shop in Hereford to order her xmas hamper. Although fairly attractive, the butcher could see she had extensive cosmetic facial and botox treatments, and also a significantly enhanced breast Augmentation.
No doubt pleased with her 'new' appearance, she began a conversation with the butcher.."How old do you think I am? she asked. err..35-36? said the Butcher, Well Thankyou!! said the woman... " I'm actually 48!

The same woman came into my Hardware shop a few days later. After a short conversation she asked me to guess her age. I told her that my Guarenteed tried and tested method to determine a womans age was to estimate the size,weight,and shape of their breasts.
Amazingly,(or should I say,Luckily ;) she agreed to my request to prove my claim. After several minutes of breast manipulation from all angles 8) I made my decision...48! I said.
Thats amazing! said the woman....how can you tell???...I said easy.. "I was standing behind you in the butchers! :o ;D ;D ;D ;D          never saw her again :'( :'(

[The Real 4778]

When i found out you could be a sperm donor by post,  i came in a jiffy

what do you mean by that post ?

FUNNIEST thing I've read for AGES!!!!!!!

[domino.99]

The 82 came onto green street yesterday and i was a double decker so I said ''oh yes it's a double d'' the woman standing next to me slapped me round the face

[Mike K]

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid £200 to have a lentil on my face.

[Mike K]

My wife said to me this morning 'You're the laziest b*****d I've ever known, pack your bags and f**k off!'.... I said 'You f***in' pack 'em!