Avin a larf

[4006]

If you don't like Tesco's 'Horse' Burgers, try their meetballs...the're the Dog's B*****ks  :D

[4006]

Turns out the horses were sexually assulted before being turned into burgers. Police say their main suspect is Jimmy Saddle  ;D ;) :P

[4006]

All the Mrs has done since it started snowing is look through the window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in!  :o

[4006]

The Government have issued a warning saying that anyone travelling in icy and snowy conditions should take a shovel, blankets or sleeping bag, extra clothing including a scarf, hat & gloves, plus a 24 hour supply of food & drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch & spare batteries
In addition they should take a safety triangle, tow rope, petrol can, first aid kit & jump leads.....

I looked a right prat on the bus this morning!!!  :o :o :o

[4006]

My Brother took being sent to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food & drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own excrement....After that we never played Monopoly again!

[windy miller]

with Jokes like that you want lockin up :)!!!!!... My burger gave me the 'trots'...but at least the 'Going' was 'good to firm'... ::) ::) :)

[4006]

with Jokes like that you want lockin up :)!!!!!... My burger gave me the 'trots'...but at least the 'Going' was 'good to firm'... ::) ::) :)

Maybe we both need locking up!!!!  ;D

[windy miller]

I do get asked stupid questions!!...When I was visiting a zoo in Dublin some people behind me started to run. Apparently a lion had escaped from its enclosure. As I started running an irish bloke stopped me and asked..'which way is the lion running??...I said.'well you don't think I'm
F****ng chasing it do you?' :o :) :) :)

[wbdriver]

My doctors have told me that I've to watch what I eat, so I've bought a ticket for this year's 'Grand National'.

[Discodave]

My doctors have told me that I've to watch what I eat, so I've bought a ticket for this year's 'Grand National'.

and sponsored by Findus

[Discodave]

with Jokes like that you want lockin up :)!!!!!... My burger gave me the 'trots'...but at least the 'Going' was 'good to firm'... ::) ::) :)

Well at least the going was not soft.

[Tony]

Two horses stood in a field with a load of cows, one says to the other "they'll never findus here"

[wbdriver]

all these horse jokes are not a laughing matter.
Friend of mine got seriously ill after eating a Findus Lasagne.
Thankfully she's now in a stable condition.

[windy miller]

On our trip to London last year the Mrs and I visited the History museum.As we stood looking at a big Dinosaur she asked the guide how old it was. when he said "2 Million years 6 months and 2 weeks" I thought with Technology that good they might be able to Carbon Date the canteen sandwiches at Park Lane.. ;)..I asked him how they could possibly be that accurate?...He said " When I came to work here they told me it was 2 million years old....Iv'e been here 6 months and 2 weeks... :) :) :) :) :)

[Stu]

One cow says to another cow, "I don't know, these bloody horses coming here taking our jobs!"