Author Topic: Avin a larf  (Read 66795 times)

Offline DJ98

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Re: Avin a larf
« Reply #690 on: July 29, 2017, 04:59:09 PM »
West Midlands police have found 12 million worth of drugs   22 ak47 assult rifles  and 300 hand grenades at a home behind the job centre in Tipton
Residents are shocked as they didn't know they had a job centre

I find that hard to believe, most people in Tipton know where the Job Centre is, they have to go there to sign on!  ;D

Offline windy miller

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Re: Avin a larf
« Reply #691 on: August 02, 2017, 01:57:26 AM »
 I asked our Vet why so many rabbits sit in the middle of the road when I'm speeding through the countryside at night?....He said " They're collecting car numbers....though most of them only collect the one..... :o :o 
Mind the Gap.....?:-)

Offline windy miller

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Re: Avin a larf
« Reply #692 on: August 05, 2017, 05:52:57 PM »
When me and the Mrs went to our local swimming baths we were told that they now have a chemical in the water that will react if you piss in the pool!...The Men's piss will leave a distinct blue stain to identify you and the women's piss will leave a pink one. When we both had a good piss and did two lengths of the pool we looked like the F'kin Red Arrows.... :o :o :o
Mind the Gap.....?:-)

Offline DJ98

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Re: Avin a larf
« Reply #693 on: August 05, 2017, 06:16:58 PM »
I was speaking to a bloke from Yorkshire the other day, who happened to be dyslexic.

He was wearing a cat flap.

Offline windy miller

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Re: Avin a larf
« Reply #694 on: August 06, 2017, 03:29:44 AM »
 I asked my local Chinese take away if they can cook Octopus.. He said 'yes we do'... we cook them live as they taste better'... I asked him.. 'how long do they take to cook?...'about 4 hours' he said....   I said 4 hours!!!....why do they take that long?... he said 'as soon as we turn our back the Bastards keep turning the gas off!...... :o :o :o 
Mind the Gap.....?:-)

Offline windy miller

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Re: Avin a larf
« Reply #695 on: September 03, 2017, 06:31:52 PM »
 When I found myself in court recently for a minor traffic offence a local guy was up before me as a serial burglar.  The magistrate asked the guy if he had anything to say before passing sentence ?.....The guy replied "F*ck ALL..... Evidently the magistrate had not heard him and turned to the clerk and asked "What did he say??   The clerk replied  "He said F*ck All!  your honour. To which the magistrate replied.." strange.. I could have sworn he said something... :)
« Last Edit: September 03, 2017, 06:33:43 PM by windy miller »
Mind the Gap.....?:-)